


Comfort for Cowboys

by Roshwen



Series: I'll hold your fear (and you as well) [1]
Category: The Librarians (TV 2014)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode Tag, Even when Jake is angsting and crying all over him, Ezekiel is being supportive, He's suprisingly good at it, Jake needs a hug, M/M, S03E08: And the Eternal Question, like you wouldn't believe
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-03
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-12-23 11:49:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11989218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Roshwen/pseuds/Roshwen
Summary: Jake huffs a little. ‘Not sure I’m as okay as you are, though.’Ezekiel just shrugs. ‘I’ve had a lifetime of pretending to be okay when I’m really really not. You get used to it.’





	Comfort for Cowboys

Stone had disappeared.  
  
Ezekiel had been slumped on a very uncomfortable hospital chair ever since Cassandra had been wheeled into a surgery no one was sure she’d survive. Jenkins had tried to sit next to him and be comforting, but he had been desperately out of practice, and even if he had not been, it was clear he was way too worried to be effective. He had mercifully given up after five minutes of empty platitudes and an aborted attempt at wrapping an arm around Ezekiel’s shoulder and was now sitting on his own uncomfortable chair on the opposite side of the hallway, his face drawn and looking older than Ezekiel had ever seen him. Eve and Flynn had not even tried; they were just sitting wrapped up in each other on the only tiny couch the hospital hallway had to offer. Eve had not stopped shaking since they’d arrived, and Flynn was not looking much better.

And Stone had disappeared.  
  
He had been the one to try and keep their spirits up, getting everybody coffee, offering Eve a shoulder to lean on when Flynn was trying to get more information out of a harassed looking nurse, and making sure Ezekiel sat down in an actual chair, instead of just lie down on the floor all curled up like he used to do when he was little and something really bad was happening.

_Lie down, make yourself small and it’ll all go away soon enough._

Stone had practically dragged him up and into the chair, taken care of everybody else ( _like the mother hen that he pretends not to be_ ) and now he had disappeared.

Ezekiel might have been filled with dread at the thought of what was happening behind the closed doors at the end of the hallway, but he had never been one to let himself be paralyzed by fear. Stone had taken care of them all; now Stone might need someone to take care of him. And Ezekiel would be the first to admit he was not exactly the kind of person you’d think of when hearing the word ‘supportive’, but right now, he was willing to give it a shot.

Finding Stone was easy enough. Ezekiel just used his phone to pull up the GPS of his team’s phones. The dot labelled ‘Cowboy’ was sitting right outside the hospital’s front door.

~~~

The air is cool and crisp outside, a welcome contrast to the stuffiness inside the hospital. Ezekiel is surprised to see how dark it is; he hasn’t really kept track of time after Cassandra first collapsed into Jenkins’ arms.

 _Must’ve been hours ago already._ He shakes his head. It simultaneously seems to him like a small eternity and just five minutes. 

The hospital parking lot stretches out before him, a vast patch of black only dimly illuminated by the streetlights around it, and he can just make out the forlorn figure sitting on the low wall that marked the edge.

‘Hey,’ he says, walking over and sitting down next to Stone. While he wants very badly to just plunk down right next to the guy so he could maybe let Stone lean on him a little or wrap an arm around him or something ( _because that is how supporting works, right?_ ), he leaves a careful few inches between the two of them. Stone is not exactly the touchy-feely type, after all. Best to start with words. Stone likes words, and Ezekiel can talk his way through _anything_.

Stone doesn’t respond. He doesn’t move. He just sits with his elbows resting on his knees, shoulders hunched forward and his head down. His usual rough country guy bravado is nowhere to be seen. He looks impossibly small and while Ezekiel cannot make out his face in the darkness, he is not sure he wants to either.

‘How are you holding up, cowboy?’ he asks. _Yo_ _u idiot. Does he look like he’s holding up to you?_

He’s not surprised when Stone stays silent. _Yeah, I wouldn’t answer either. Better try something else._

‘Did you know she asked me to marry the two of you?’ he asks. He figures that should throw Stone enough to get him out of the black cloud that he’s gotten himself into.

He’s right. Stone jerks up, seemingly noticing Ezekiel for the first time. ‘What?’

Ezekiel nods. ‘Yeah. She was worried that if... if something like this.’ He has to stop and swallow for a second, then continues. ‘If something happened, her parents would come out of the woodwork and try to bring her home. That they’d try and decide what... what happened to her.’

‘Fuck,’ Stone mutters, his voice very low.

‘Yeah. So she asked me to make sure there were papers proving the two of you were married. So you, or we, could tell her parents to bog off if they tried anything. She said she was gonna ask you if it was alright, but she didn’t think you’d object.’

‘Did you do it?’ Stone asks in the same rough, low voice.

Ezekiel shakes his head, then remembers Stone probably can’t see that. ‘She only asked me yesterday. Didn’t have the time yet, you know. With the vampires and all.’

Stone says something that is too low for Ezekiel to hear properly, but it sounds like ‘Fucking vampires.’ He then says, slightly more audibly ‘How did we not notice?’

It’s the same question that has been eating away at Ezekiel, and he’ll be damned if he knows the answer. Because they  _should_  have noticed. Cassandra had been acting odd even before they went looking into the vampire case, flitting from one side of the Annex to the other like a caged bird, more chipper and even louder than usual. And then there had been that ( _obviously_ ) bullshit story about her friend the eccentric neurologist who would only talk to her. That should  _definitely_  have set someone’s alarm bells clanging.  
  
They should have caught on. Ezekiel knows it. He also knows that Stone is blaming himself more than anyone else, because Stone has a martyr streak a mile wide. So instead of settling for platitudes about how they couldn’t have known ( _not true_ ) or how it’s okay because no one knew ( _also not true_ ) or that Stone should not go blaming himself ( _true, but not helpful_ ) he says ‘I don’t know. ( _true_ ) But I’m not sure we could have done anything if we had known ( _mostly true_ ).’

Stone doesn’t say anything, so Ezekiel goes on. ‘I mean, have you ever tried talking her into something she didn’t want to do? Or talk her out of something she did want? Like, even if we knew what was happening, there’s no way we could have gotten her to go to the hospital if she didn’t want to.’ He has to stop for a moment, because Stone is looking at him and Ezekiel’s eyes have adjusted to the darkness enough to finally make out the expression on his face. He was right before: Stone looking like that is the absolute last thing he ever wants to see.

Ezekiel has to close his own eyes for a moment before he can continue: ‘This way, she got exactly what she wanted. If you don’t tell anyone something’s wrong, no one makes a fuss over you and you get to pretend everything is fine, right up until the end. And then it doesn’t matter anymore.’ He huffs something that at another time might have been a laugh. ‘I can’t even blame her.’  _Not right now, anyway. Later, maybe. Probably_.

Jake huffs a little too. ‘Sounds like Cassie, alright,’ he says. ‘Not sure I’m as okay with it as you are, though.’

_You have no idea how not okay I am with all of this._

Ezekiel doesn’t say that out loud, because he’s the one supposed to be supportive here. Instead he just shrugs. ‘I’ve had a lifetime of pretending to be okay when I’m really really not. You get used to it.’

Stone looks like he wants to say something in response but apparently decides to let it rest, for which Ezekiel is grateful.  _That’s probably gonna be a conversation for another time, though._  
  
They sit in silence for a while, watching the cars pull in and out of the parking lot, hearing the distant clatter of the hospital lobby in front and the muted roar of traffic behind them, but not taking any of it in. Ezekiel isn’t exactly sure if Stone still wants him there, but he hasn’t said anything and if there’s one thing Stone is, it’s brutally honest. So Ezekiel will stay with him and try his hardest to be a quiet, supportive companion for a friend who needs him, because Stone deserves nothing less.  
  
He can see why Stone likes to take care of people in times of crisis now; at least it keeps your mind off of other things.

Suddenly a soft sound fills the silence and it’s one that Ezekiel can’t immediately figure out. It’s a high, rhythmic, wet kind of sound and when he looks to his left, he sees that Stone has buried his face in his hands and that his entire body is trembling.

_Fuck._

_Screw keeping a distance._

His shoes crunch on the gravel as he levers himself off the wall and turns to stand in front of Jake. He doesn’t give either of them time to think, just wraps his arms around the other guy and pulls him tight against his chest. To his mild surprise, Jake immediately wraps his arms around his waist in response and pulls himself even closer, hands scrunching tight into Ezekiel’s shirt. He then proceeds to bury his face in Ezekiel’s shoulder and starts crying in earnest, not even trying to keep quiet anymore. Jake’s shoulders are shaking with heavy sobs, Ezekiel’s shirt is already drenched with tears and for a moment Ezekiel is just frozen in shock. _Fuck. Did not see this coming._

But he cannot just keep standing there forever doing nothing, so with one arm still wrapped tight around Jake’s back, Ezekiel lets his other hand wander upwards to lace itself into Jake’s hair. ‘Hey now,’ he whispers roughly, ‘hey, hey now. It’s okay, it’s gonna be okay.’  _We both know it’s not, but what the hell._

His mouth is level with Jake’s temple, and Ezekiel can’t resist pressing a couple ( _more than just a couple)_ of soft kisses into his hairline as he keeps muttering nonsense and Jake shatters to pieces in his arms.

_I guess now I know what empty platitudes are for._

It takes Jake a long time before he is able to calm down, but even as his shoulders stop shaking and his breathing evens out, he does not try to pull back. Ezekiel doesn’t mind. He just keeps carding his fingers through Jake’s hair, chin resting on his head and his other hand stroking slowly, soothingly up and down Jake’s back. _You just stay right here, cowboy. I've got you_ _._

‘Srrrm,’ Jake tells Ezekiel’s shoulder after a long minute of silence.

‘What was that, mate?’ Ezekiel asks, drawing back a little.  _Just a little._

‘Sorry,’ Jake repeats after peeling his face free. ‘Didn’t mean to...’

At that, Ezekiel has to scoff. ‘Do I look like I mind?’

Jake shakes his head. ‘No, but I mean... I just...’

He doesn’t finish his sentence, just gives a shrug and makes a kind of wave gesture with his hand that Ezekiel does not have the energy to interpret right now. His voice is also dangerously close to cracking, so Ezekiel steps in and wraps his arms around Jake’s shoulders again. Jake just tucks his face in the crook of Ezekiel’s neck. heaves a slightly damp and very heavy sigh and then goes completely limp, trusting Ezekiel to take his weight.

They stay together like that for a long time, just breathing together and silently trying to find a way to shoulder an impossible weight between the two of them.

Another small eternity has passed before Jenkins’ voice cuts through the now empty parking lot.

‘Gentlemen, I think you had better come back inside.’


End file.
